Hakuna Matata

It has been a long weekend, with just the kids and me. For me, it's 'thank god it is Monday'. They are in school and I can enjoy my mid morning cuppa in absolute peace and quiet and mull over what to blog about. Guess the cuppa that usually cheers failed to do so today. I can't think of anything useful to write about. Just rambling on as usual and wondering if I reached the 100-word-a-day target I have set for myself. Thoughts swimming in the nut nowadays are school for Kabir and if I am being too harsh on him. I can see not-so-subtle changes in his attitude towards me and that worries me. Have I done or am I doing something that is putting him off? I kept worrying till last afternoon when it dawned on me while climbing the stairs that they are my fears, not my kids' problems. I don't really have to worry about Kabir becoming violent just because he killed a wasp or a lizard. I don't really have to be worried he'll grow up a sloth if he refuses to have bath one day and I can forget about him being malnourished if he doesn't eat a day or two. All these don't amount to indiscipline. My brother and his friend used to kill frogs and stuff them in the pot. But he is the gentlest man next to my father now. I would go without food for days and now I am a healthy (?) 74 kgs. God knows how many baths I skipped while in hostel. My skin still glows and I haven't contracted any derma deseases. And finally, it is okay for him to start reading when he is comfortable. He is not going to be an illiterate! He is already literate and can write definitely more than his caretaker who has passed her 8th. Well the last comment is unsavoury but anything to pacify my mind. My son will grow up fine and I am doing a good job of a mother, even if my mother in law doesn't belive so. Oh that's a whole new story.

Reading, it is hard.

Not bad. I am back in two days. Have to practice.

Actually reading and writing are complex tasks. Realized it now when my 5-1/2 year old son is struggling to get on with reading. I have really forgotten how I mastered them. I remember the trauma when I failed my first English test in 5th standard. I studied in Kannada medium till 7th. In Dharwad where I studied till 4th, we were not taught English till 5th. But in the cosmopolitan Bangalore, English started in 1st standard even in Kannada medium schools, against the government rules! Of course, my parents were extra understanding and my kid brother and big sister helped me to tide over the crisis. That's how I came about to being a journalist and now a writer...and an english one at that. I bet my kannada skills are better. Should try my hand at that.

And now, my son literally panicked the other day when I tried to make him a read a sentence. Couldn't bear to see his tearful eyes pleading me not to make him read. Got me thinking if I were being too harsh on me li'l boy. He is otherwise a confident, calm and composed child. Wonder why a simple sentence I wrote in his book had him in tears. He reads words perfectly well though. It is a game we have been playing for over six months. I write a word and he reads it. Thought he would be ready to read sentences. Apparently not.

I wondered how I can make it easier and interesting for Kabir, my son in case you are wondering. We have started a blog, on our wall, actually. That reminds me, I have to buy him a white board. So he writes weather report in the morning. Writes the day, date and month and whatever else he wants to. Writing seems easier to him. I am hoping the exercise will help him start reading.

He has started reading Browny Bear series and Usborne Farmyard Tales. Slow and unsteady but reads nevertheless. At least he doesn't cry and panic at the sight of a bunch of words hanging together in liniarity. He is still wary of words that are long and refuses to read but keeps trying to guess the word. I am now trying to convince him that reading the word in front of him is easier than guessing it!

Will have to come back later...

Getting over writers block

I wonder why I keep having these writers' blocks every so often, which lasts up to a year? It is exactly a year since I last posted the blog. Surprisingly, I write for a living. May be I should change my profession. But you know what, writing is all I know and I am not even good at it. Think I have a confidence issue? No. I am being brutally frank with myself. I am a lousy writer. I just don't enjoy what I write. I write for technlogy companies. They in fact like some of my stuff. Now what does that say? Tech companies are so desperate for writers, they actually like anything, as long as the write-up throws up some fancy tech jargon.

I have been trying to get some dope on writing white papers. Yeah I want to improve my skills. Finally. I have been googling to learn to write better. Then it dawned on me, rather belatedly, that I have to read a good deal to be a good writer. When is the last time I read a good book? Two years ago, Jerome K Jerome's Three Men in a Boat. It is hilarious. Many probably haven't even heard of him. He belongs to the late 19th and early 20th century generation.

Now that I know I want to improve my writing skills, I have to write -- labour over is more apt -- at least 100 words a day. I will keep my word and post blogs every day...ummm.. a tall order.